


sarge's toxic masculinity and meghan trainor on cd

by WordsAreScribbles



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 21:48:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7481256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsAreScribbles/pseuds/WordsAreScribbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No wonder Donut runs so fast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sarge's toxic masculinity and meghan trainor on cd

**Author's Note:**

> just a silly lil rvb ficlet! ive been wanting to write something substantial for this show for a while, but when i sat down to actually do that, this thing happened. enjoy!

“Turn that racket off, Donut!” Sarge's gruff voice yelled from inside one of the shower stalls.

_“Oh my God, I put my pants on inside out… I couldn't tell ‘cause the lights were out! I beat the sunrise again…_ ” Donut sang the lyrics loudly, rhythmically scrubbing a towel over his blond hair. The CD player next to him on the cold, stone, slightly damp bench happily blasted out the tunes on the disc, as though it was encouraging Donut to sing louder.

“Donut!” Sarge's voice bellowed again.

Donut turned the music down a little bit. “Aw, c'mon, Sarge! It's the classics! Don't you like Meghan Trainor?“

“Yaknow, Donut, I think I could find it in myself to enjoy the music a bit more if you could quit your Godforsaken caterwauling!” The older man shouted, turning off the water in his stall. The squeaky turn of the shower nob had become a familiar sound over the years.

“Hey, you're lucky I'm not making you pay for a performance like that!” Donut rebutted, pressing down on the top of the CD player to pop up the top and remove the disc.

Sarge sighed and wrapped a towel around his waist as he stepped out into the cold air of the surrounding room, giving Donut a stern look when he saw him sitting on the bench near the sink. Every word that either of them spoke was reverberated off the tile walls around them, and that, on top of Donut being a naturally loud speaker, made the communal bathroom a very noisy place to be.

“Hey, Sarge, mind if I shave with you?” Donut asked inquisitively, already picking up his hygiene bag. (More like makeup bag, if you ask Sarge. Tons of sparkly, flavored lip balm, various tropical scented creams and shampoos, and a pink polka dot shower cap didn’t exactly scream “just the bare essentials.")

“Shave?” Sarge inquired, making his way to the dual sink. He'd thought ahead and set out his razor and shaving cream before hopping in the shower. He turned on the faucet. “Your face is as smooth as a baby's behind, the hell are you shaving f-? Oh.”

Sarge trailed off as he glanced to his right to see Donut with his leg hoisted up on the counter, unzipping his bag. “I know that, silly! I meant my legs, the goal is to get them just as smooth!” The sergeant watched, almost in horror, as the younger man uncapped a pink bottle of shaving cream that read “pomegranate raspberry” and began to lather it on his already fairly smooth leg.

“...Yaknow Donut, I think I'll shave _tomorrow_ ,” Sarge murmured darkly, picking up his things.

“Wh-? You okay, Sarge?” Donut asked concernedly, watching in confusion as he left, slamming the door behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> the song donut is singing is "walkashame" by meghan trainor


End file.
